My Raging (Eco)Hangover

A quick rundown of my weekend in Las Vegas:

THE GOOD
-Evenings
-Boobs
-Camouflage
-Facial Hair
-Nuptials
-DWI (Detoxing While Intoxicated)
-Sisterly repartée
-Tigers on the catwalk
-Cougars on the catwalk
-The Liberace Museum: vigilante docents, shuttle drivers of the living dead, sparkles sparkles everywhere
-And most importantly, an amalgam of female hotness so hot that you never have to wait in line (or pay)


THE BAD
-Mornings
-Tigers on the catwalk behind a chain link fence
-Lazy River Rash
-Smoking Allowed
-Dudes from Long Island (yeah, I mean all of you)
-Intentionally mediocre signage
-Men of the world, repeat after me: TUCKED is the new UNTUCKED
-Ladies of the world, repeat after me: If I can see your LABIA, it's not a "SKIRT"
-Parents of the world, repeat after me: 2 AM in Las Vegas is NO PLACE FOR A BABY
-Cities created in places where there should be no cities

-Missing my tupperware (So. Much. Plastic. Everything.)

PEOPLE, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TRASHCESSORIZE AND THEN GO IMMEDIATELY TO LAS VEGAS.

Or maybe just don't go at all. I have to be honest: the bad outweighed the good on this trip. Even when the good consisted of three witty and excessively awesome companions, professional hair styling, and a constant level of toxicity in my bloodstream. I just couldn't get past the fact that it was all so...wrong. Vegas has never been my Mecca, but in the wake of my efforts to Green Thyself, it feels more like um, Mecca. And by that, I mean Hell for an educated woman.

Eco hangover aside, thanks Kate and Misty for your impeccable debauchery documentation. And thanks to Lisa for spearheading said debauchery. You three are the Radness.

Girls: next time, how's about we go to Portland? On bicycles.