Quicken Earth July: Stripper Supplies

I'm guessing you've noticed by now that the conversation around here has expanded beyond the Not New. That's because I'm bored out of my mind talking about it. Aren't you?? All the buying and not buying and wanting and refusing to want...I've settled into a sort of acceptance of it. I am, how you say, blasé.

That doesn't mean I'm no longer committed to it (I am) or that the funny/frustrating/tormenting stuff doesn't happen anymore (it does), but the eco run-off from this experiment is what's exciting to me now. So I'm giving it some turntables and a microphone. Thought I should warn you that you're in for more.

Now back to your regularly scheduled buying and not buying and wanting and refusing...


OOPS!
Alyssa and I are the organizing committee for Sara's bachelorette party this weekend, so in addition to booking cabins and arranging rides and planning meals, we've engaged in a protracted conversation re: obligatory penis paraphernalia. Being that I cannot buy any new penises, Sara is probably safe. But the whole episode reminded me - with horror! - that I DID BUY NEW PENISES IN JANUARY. In a nod to the Bachelorette Gestalt, I purchased a packet of glow-in-the-dark man sword straws for Liza's bachelorette dinner, from which we slurped our Prosecco and took many a jolly photo.

So, to date:
Jan 11: one lingerie bag
April 27: one pair cheap tawdry sunglasses
Jan 10: one package glow-in-the-dark penis straws

My friend Craig always does this thing where, when I pull off some ridiculous dance move, he tries to guess what I'm doing. Example: I'll be doing the cabbage patch, and he'll be like "You're stirring risotto!" "You're winding Big Ben!" "You're driving a cable car!" etc. Right now I'm imagining what he'd say if he applied the same deductive reasoning to this list.


NECESSITIES
I picked up three new pairs of undies and a bra while in TJ Maxx. It's allowed, and it was time.

Aside: I once read an eco hipster in Domino argue that shopping at places like TJ Maxx is actually earth-friendly because they sell overstocks from other stores. This makes almost no sense to me, but I'll just keep it in the old back pocket as my Chewbacca defense.


CREATIVE CONSUMPTION (i.e. USED ARTICLES)
As you may recall, I celebrated our nation's independence by going vintage shopping in Palm Springs and Venice Beach and consignment shopping in Orange County. Let's just say I was feeling really patriotic.


UP FOR DISCUSSION
To that point, behold this adorable purveyor of new and reworked vintage fashion, Madley, in Venice Beach:



While trolling the racks with my cohort Kendra, I found the finest maxi dress in all the Kingdom:



You see that there? Nice lines, good length, cute pattern, and most importantly, no mumu-ism. Obviously I had to have it. But only after 25 minutes of pacing and lip-biting and even requesting a phone call to the designer, Luxury Jones in Portland, to find out if the fabric was indeed vintage/reworked. Her response: she didn't remember where the fabric for that specific dress came from (though she did know the specific dress), but she'd had it forever and she almost exclusively buys remnants and vintage anyway. Is it time to pull out the Chewbacca defense yet?

ABSTENTIONS
I'm cool, Peeps. It's getting to the point that I'm prejudiced AGAINST new stuff. New stuff is so...pedestrian. Let them wear J.Crew.