INT. UGLY BETTY - NIGHT
An apron-clad NATALIE buzzes happily around the kitchen, humming the tune to Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" as she sets the table, refolds the napkins and pours the wine.
A key CLICKS in the lock of the front door. NATALIE smiles to herself.
A few minutes later, HCB shuffles into the kitchen. They kiss.
NATALIE
(brightly)
Hey! How was work?
HCB
(heavily)
Fine. Same old same old. How are you?
NATALIE
Great! I've got a culinary surprise for you tonight.
A flicker of fear registers in HCB's eyes.
HCB
(disgruntled)
Oh my god what is it this time? Unidentifiable Fake Protein with a side of tubers?
NATALIE
(undeterred)
Close! Baked tofu with roasted veggies, brown rice and avocado.
HCB
(sighs loudly, sets jaw)
Okay, let's just get one thing straight here: I'm willing to accept this new vegetarian obsession of yours, but I. WILL. NOT. EAT. TOFU. I hate tofu. It's rubbery, its unappetizing, and it has no taste of its own. I'll choke down tonight's concoction, but after that, forget about it.
NATALIE
(still undeterred, smiling)
Roger that, Grumpy Pants! I don't know though, this may surprise you. The marinade is delicious.
HCB
(still disgruntled)
I doubt it. Remember how delicious pork is? Remember how you used to pride yourself on getting three different pork products into the same menu? What happened to that woman?
Pause. NATALIE turns to him, wide-eyed, innocent, and starts dancing to the soundtrack playing in her head.
HCB
(resigned to his fate)
Thanks, anyway, for making dinner.
NATALIE
(humming Rod)
My pleasure!
NATALIE plates the dinner and serves. As eating commences, silence falls.
NATALIE
Dude, this is the height of deliciosity! I even forgot it was tofu!
HCB
(slowly, between ever larger mouthfuls)
It's...not...so...bad.
More eating, more silence. HCB's plate empties quickly.
HCB
(chewing)
I...guess...I would...eat that again.
NATALIE
(commencing internal victory dance)
Good to know. I'll add it to the recipetoire.
Rene Rosso's Radically Superior, HCB-Approved Sesame-Soy Baked Tofu
1 brick super firm tofu
2+ tbsp sesame oil
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp rice wine vinegar
Lemon juice to taste (roughly one lemon's worth)
Unwrap the tofu, put it on a plate large side down, place another plate on top, and then weigh it down with something heavy (like a bag of flour). Let it sit for roughly 30 minutes. Pour off the excess liquid. Cut tofu into slices.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Arrange tofu in a single layer in small Pyrex or similar baking dish. Pour remaining ingredients over tofu. Liquid should cover tofu a tiny ways up the sides, but will not be submerged. Turn to coat. Bake for 45 minutes.
Serve with short grain brown rice (I cheat and make mine with chicken bouillon for added flavor), roasted veggies and copious amounts of avocado.
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1 comment:
There's a Korean marinade I like to use on beef that incorporates sesame oil and soy as well, but the notion of rice wine vinegar and lemon juice is intriguing. I wonder if that'll translate to meats.
There is only one way to be sure
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